Class Notes- February 10

4:58- Boyer walks on stage, sets down his bag, and is immediately accosted by an inquisitive student.

5:00- Lights dim. Will class start on time today?!

5:02- START OF WINE CLASS YEAH
He's talking, but it's hard to hear. Microphone must be broken. Time for wines that we've all had.

5:05- MICROPHONE ON!

Person 1: Someone had an Australian Shiraz-Viogner blend. (It's really boring to listen to other people describe their wines, let's be real). Boyer says this pairing is typical, but the ratio is heavily skewed towards the shiraz. This wine is trying to copy a classic Rhone wine, apparently. "A nice combination of flower and spice". -Boyer

Person 2: German Riesling, which apparently could be aged for 20+ years. IS THIS TRUE, BOYER? Fuck yes you can! There are some age-worthy white wines (few and far between), and German Rieslings are in that category. Some cellars in Germany have 100+ year old wines. Well crafted wines, exceptionally crafted wines, will age longer than their inferior neighbors.
Wines are age-able because they have BIG amounts of tannins which helps them carry the distance. "Big ass tannins in a young wine will carry it for ten years."- Boyer
"Make it a big ALCOHOL BOMB and it will last longer!"-Boyer. Ports and Sherries have a high alcohol level that will stabilize the wine. You can open it, drink some, leave it open until spring, and have it again- and it won't have changed.
Large amounts of sugars and acids will also help wines age. Like a German Riesling!

Person 3: "My friends and I, we um, tried a red wine called 'Brownie Points', and it tasted kinda chocolatey. One of my friends there is allergic to chocolate, so we were wondering if he could, um, drink the wine, hahaha" O__O (I'm so rude.)
There's usually no chocolate in wine. Some Scandinavian country made a chocolate wine and it was apparently not terrible.
"I wouldn't go near it myself. I'd feed it to hungry animals, maybe." -Boyer

Person 4: Merlot Botta Box! I love my Botta Box. I keep mine on the refrigerator, shame on me.
"I should've gotten to this in the lecture by now... But boxed wine is respectable nowadays. Franzia still sucks. They haven't changed the magic recipe for that shit." -Boyer
There are many good wines in a box now. It's a superior enclosure to bottles, because bottles can still be permeated by light. Boxed wine eliminates that issue. Also, as you tap the wine, no oxygen will get in. Great for solo drinkers, because it will keep indefinitely.
If you go to a restaurant with a meh wine list, ask if they have a boxed wine. Because you know it'll always be good (you can't tamper with it).

Person 5: Drank a wine that I can't spell (Gewürztraminer!) and it tasted like Elderflower tea. Super dry wine, but the brain tricks you into smelling and tasting sweet things. 
NEWSFLASH: SWEET IS NOT A SMELL. IT IS A TASTE.

5:24- "We are already halfway through class. This class is the worstbest class ever." -Boyer

Gewurztraminer Grape (rhymes with "It hurts my weiner")
aka Traminer (easy to say)
Regions: Germany and Alsace mostly, Italy, Austria, Australia, Chile, New Zealand, Washington, Oregon, New York
Flavor profile: Lychee, apricots, honey, roses and petals, passion fruits, floral notes, gardenia, honeysuckle, linalool, peach, mango, spice, perfume. This is a wine so floral, your brain gets tricked. Always made bone dry, but sneaky and tastes sweet. It's difficult to pair with food, but white cheeses may go well with it. It also goes well with Thai food.

Try pairing white wines with white cheeses!

5:32- "I haven't even gotten to the first slide. Damn you, wine class." -Boyer
Talking about Palisades wine dinner. Sounds delicious, I will probably skip pottery next week to go to it.

Riesling Grape
Regions: Germany mostly (King region for the grape), Alsace, New York, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Italy, South Africa
Flavor Profile: fruity, honeyed, honeysuckle, floral, tropical fruits, pear, lime zest, mineral, stone, petrol, diesel, geranium, rose petal, orange blossom, jasmine, apricot
The flavors are much more subtle than the Gewurztraminer. The most unique flavor here is petrol/diesel. Quite common in aged Rieslings.
Almost ALL German Rieslings are sweet, because all the exported wines are sweet. You could go over there and get a dry one, but they're not shipped over here. If the Riesling is from Alsace, it's almost ALWAYS bone dry.

Pinot Noir- Either GREAT or shitty. No in-between. Lots of people are making mediocre Pinot Noirs.
aka Spatburgunder, Blauburgunder, Pinot Nero
Regions: EVERYWHERE. Most popular grape, so everyone's trying to grow it. Most famously from Burgundy. Also from Champagne, Germany, Italy, Oregon, California, New Zealand. Everything tastes totally different depending on the region.
All red Burgundy is Pinot Noir. FYI.
Flavor Profile- Old World (Burgundy): Light body, black/red cherry, raspberry, earthy, farmyard, mushroom. Earth Forward. Almost always need age and food.
Flavor Profile- New World (California): Medium body, fruit forward, current, cherry, blackberry. Fruit Forward.
The Pinot Noirs from Oregon are GOODNESS. Delicious. Good. "It is GOOD."- Boyer
This is one of those grapes that morphs readily to its environment. That's the fun of it! It can taste like ANYTHING. Most of these wines will spend time in a barrel.

"Pinot noir is the only wine I've ever had that somehow gets a meatiness to it... hints of bacon and bacon fat. If you ever get one, it will knock your socks off. 'No way, Boyer wasn't shitting! I smell bacon in this!'." -Boyer

5:48- "I will continue onward. Wasting your time, teaching you stuff." -Boyer

5:54- When it comes to making wine, you need fruit. Most of the time it's grapes. But wine is a generic term for any fermented alcoholic product made from fruit.
Perry wine- Low alcohol, slight carbonation, made with pears.
Plum wine- Mostly an Asian thing. Tastes like plums.
Peach wine- Tastes like peaches.
Cider- Undergoing a HUGE resurgence in America right now. You can drink WAY more cider than beer. Slightly higher alcohol content, easier to drink. And there are a shit ton of apple varieties, so you can get nuanced flavors in ciders like you can in wine.
Try Foggy Ridge Cider!

6:02- What is so special about grapes?
They've got tannins and FUCK TONS OF SUGAR.
"Kids like sugar, adults like alcohol. Kids get table grapes, adults get wine. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." -Boyer
The grape is Nature's Perfect Package. They are the most grown single fruit on planet Earth.

"How hard is it to get sugar out of a grape? *shpppppp* Yeah, that easy." -Boyer

"Have you ever had banana juice? OF COURSE NOT. You squish it and you don't get banana juice, you get banana SHIT." -Boyer

"SQUEEZE. Yeast gets to it. Done." - how you make wine from grapes